Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The honeymoon and first year

It was bliss. Mexico was wonderful and we still talk to this day how we need to go back one day. We spent a lot of time "together" as any new husband and wife should but also explored. We went horseback riding, site seeing, and just laying on the beach. The honeymoon went by quickly too... we though to ourselves on the flight home is our life going to go by this fast too?

We got home and settled into married life. Honestly, nothing really felt different. We acted like an old married couple for many moons now and now it was just official.

Right off the bat we talked about kids and how many we wanted to have. Way before we thought about marriage we both had this crazy dream the same night how we would have three children. Two boys and a girl, but one of the boys and the girl would be twins. We always thought we would have one boy first then end up pregnant with twins later in life (we were wrong with that one, but still kinda right). We started to pick out names even. It was really cute. That's what I mean, before we even talked about marriage we just assumed we would be together forever. That's how connected we are.

Not long after the wedding we talked about going off birth control. It was December 1st, 2005 and that was the last day I would take the pill. We were very nervous and expected a fast pregnancy. Boy were we wrong! Come April I hadn't had a period and was frustrated about the many negative pregnancy tests. I called my OB and told her what was going on. She had me come in and give me a beta test (to check for pregnancy hormone) and it was negative. I told her how we have been trying to get pregnant but I wasn't having a period. She gave me progesterone to "jump start" my cycles again since coming off the pill could put it on hold. Sure enough I had a period not long after starting the medication. We waited and tested and nothing. I called her again in July and told her the only period I had was one from the medication and still getting negative test results. She gave me another beta test and that was negative too. She told me that I probably had Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and that was causing me not to have a period. She ordered an HSG test to make sure my tubes were open. I had that done in August 2006 and it came out normal. She gave me a script for Clomid (no instructions, just take take it). I did and she did another beta test at 28 days into my cycle and it was negative too, but I didn't start my period either so I was really frustrated. She told me to take the medication again but this time come in on cycle day 21 for a progesterone test. That would tell her if I was ovulating. I did and my results came back at .41. I didn't ovulate. That was the first smack in the face. If I wasn't ovulating I wasn't going to get pregnant. I spent two more months with her before I decided to take matters into my own hands and meet with a reproductive endocrinologist. I would get pregnant I determined. She confirmed the PCOS and tried two more cycles of the Clomid. This time I was monitored and new well in advance something wasn't working out. In February 2007 we did our last round of Clomid and it didn't work out. No eggs for me. I had gone a full year trying to get pregnant and it just killed me. I was tired, frustrated, and hopeless. She suggested that we try indictable fertility drugs. Something stronger to get me to make eggs. She promised I would make eggs and since Eric's swimmers were perfect we wouldn't have any trouble getting pregnant that way. The problem was we couldn't afford the medication at that time. So we decided to quite the IF route and chill out for a bit. I was heartbroken. In March 2007 I started to see an acupuncturist and she did help me get my cycles back, but I still wasn't ovulating. I guess they were fake bleeds and I only had a couple. We kept trying though.

In October 2007 I got my employee benefit handbook and about fell out of my chair when I learned my insurance at work would now cover infertility treatments and drugs! We were over the moon! I signed up and excited that we would be able to start a cycle in January. We called our RE and went in for a refresher appointment and got a game plan set for the coming year.

To celebrate we took a Cruise to help ease our mind and get ready for baby making!

January came and I took the progesterone to start my cycle. I stared Follistim the end of January and went through my first cycle. Come the middle of February I learned that I wasn't making any eggs to go through the IUI and was cancelled. I was crushed! I wasn't going to wait for my body to start the period on it's own so I took more progesterone and called the nurse on CD 1 of a new cycle. We started the Follistim again but this time at a higher dose. It was March 8, 2008 when the blizzard hit. We HAD to get to the clinic to get my blood results and see how many eggs I had. What typically takes 20 minutes turned into 2 1/2 hour drive to the clinic, but we made it. We learned I had too many eggs and the doctor would call me back to give me my E2 levels, but chances are we would be cancelled again.

I went home and was crying. Not again I said.. I will make this work! When you go through infertility you get desperate for a baby and your mind goes fussy. You don't make the logical decisions you need to.

I got a call and was told my E2 levels are too high. If I trigger she won't do an IUI because of the high risk for multiples but in the end it was my decision. I talked to Eric and we agreed to do the trigger and then make love all weekend long in hopes for a baby. I prayed while I took that shot and each time we were intimate praying for the baby we both so desperately wanted. God must have heard my prayers because two weeks later on Good Friday I got a positive pregnancy test.

No comments: